I love to do spoken word and express my written emotions but for a long time, all my life really, I have wanted to be able to sing. Now I know singing is a funny thing because you can immediately hear when a person is off tune or can’t carry a note etc. So you can imagine the crippling fear I would feel come over me anytime I was in a position to actually be really heard trying to sing, like choir or while doing karaoke as my little sister loves to do…(but then again she can really saang). Plus I was told for a long time that I couldn’t sing and that my voice was horrible for singing lol (I know bad right? but I always had somewhat accepted it). So I am calling this blog entry “finding my voice” because lately God has just really been filling my heart with songs of love and praise and since they come as I am inspired I have to record a voice note on my phone to remember the words and tune that fall in my spirit.
So there I was yesterday on my break heading to the park on a really beautiful 85 degree sunny day and I was just filled with so much gratitude for my life and where I am in life right now. The breeze flowing, birds chirping and people laying out on the grass and sitting in benches all seemed so peaceful and a song dropped right in my heart, so I pulled out my phone and walked towards my favorite writing spot. I sang the song slowly and intentionally into my phone and as soon as I finished recording it I felt really good about it. Now I know I was cracking and totally off tune while I recorded the song but what mattered to me most were the words which started off like this… “Lord you give me everything”. Since I was sitting inside this beautiful gazebo in the park which I like to call my poetry spot I felt comfortable and so peaceful inside surrounded by so many flowers, shade and beauty, it was nice. As I played back the song to hear what I had sung I felt great peace knowing it was original, mines and totally inspired by God and his goodness and I wanted to share it for feedback. You know when you do something you are proud of you want to share it, lol! I was hesitant at first to share but then stepped on fear and decided to share it with a friend from my church who is the choir director, unashamed of the fact that I wasn’t belting out the words like some of my favorite singers although in my mind I wish I could. I had recorded songs before on my phone but never really shared with many and especially not this person so it was a little nerve-wrecking, still I sent it. What happened? Well late last night I received a voice note back with my song being sung back ever so beautifully and it felt like a really cool lesson on how to carry the notes the way I really wanted to for this inspired song and a message saying “I love it!” I was even told that we may be singing it in church Sunday which blew my mind…my little song inspired someone else to sing it and want to share it with others, how sweet is that? Anyways I just wanted to share that with you today…. I thought I had found my voice through poetry, writing & blogging in so many ways but now I am finding it through singing as well and to me that is so liberating!
Trust me I won’t be going to any singing competitions or anything like that lol but now I am learning to really let go of some of that fear to sing out and find my own tune, my own melody and eventually mesh this with my spoken word which I have always wanted to do actually and will be doing once I continue finding my voice.
Hopefully this story inspires you in some way!
Peace & Love,
What is one thing you have always wanted to do but maybe have felt scared or embarrassed to do? Please share below I would love to read your comments! 🙂