Hey loves and Happy Wed! I haven’t been here for a while as much as I would like to but truly the name for this blog and my life journey is all about balance and creating past the “breaking point”. As I work towards creating “balance” and harmony for my mind-body and soul I have come to realize that this is not a quick fix or one day thing. We all have our good and bad days and a huge part of life is just learning the lessons needed to learn along the way and passing them on to others.
I have spent a lot of years building with others and doing a lot of behind the scenes type work, work that I enjoy but many times I was called to be in the “spotlight” and never felt comfortable with it. I would go on shoots and not share that many pics, I would write and perform poetry then stop myself, I would even create Youtube videos then not upload them. I couldn’t figure it out. I mean why on earth would a person STOP doing what they love to do only because they felt like there were more people who could see it or participate in it? A good friend of me once told me “don’t hide your light under a bushel.” (Taken from Matthew 5:5)
“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”
It was obvious that one reason was FEAR and the other was lack of self-worth. You see it is very easy to think you love yourself the most and think you know what you want to do with your life forever and it is another thing to realize that sometimes you don’t feel so sure of yourself and sometimes you don’t know what you want to do with yourself and sometimes that makes you feel even more fearful and doubtful.
No matter what your beliefs are, I think we all come to a “breaking point” or a time where we are just fed up with the same cycle or beliefs about self that we feel have held us back. There is so much involved with balancing the mind, body and soul when there is disharmony going on….and by this I mean BLOCKAGES. There are times when you will have to take all the time you need to be by yourself even if for a few minutes to an hour a day and just meditate and reflect and be thankful for your life’s journey. There are times when you have to cut people off that you feel are starting to drain your energy when you yourself are trying to restore your own. There are times of tears and triumphant and joyous times, and eventually you will begin to see where your focus leans more towards.
FOCUS is everything!
Around the time that I didn’t realize I was going through depression, I lacked a lot of FOCUS. My thoughts were everywhere and on top of that I allowed myself to fall back on myself while trying to do everything else for what felt like everyone else. I noticed that around this time people came and went and got what they wanted from me, not all but some. I came to learn who a lot of my real friends were in this process. It hurt to see some people go, especially after investing so much time and energy with them but I then started to see myself a little more clearly and why it felt like I was attracting these types of relationships in my life…this was necessary for growth. The reflection in the mirror, though a little bigger in the physical than before saw that it needed more internal work, I saw that it was time to focus on self and rebalance the mind-body and soul.
The rebalancing in not easy yall! At first I thought I was ready to lose weight and go for it and I started this blog and put it out there to help me and others who may have felt the same. Then I started to fall off and feel badly again. Ego was having its way for a minute. Then I would force myself to start-up again and be consistent and I’d let the smallest thing throw me off from my consistency.
I realized even more that the only thing I was being consistent in was my inconsistency.
Ouch, real talk though!
Before any changes inside or out could occur they must first begin in the mind. Mentally we have to be ready in order to commit to building the groundwork…setting habits and seeing real results. Though I wanted the physical results to be the first ones I saw when I looked at myself I noticed that my mindstate was and is now changing into one that is more awakened & positive, helping me to grow in areas I have never thought of before.
Below are just some of my daily practices that have been a blessing to me:
- Morning Pages – journal writing first thing in the morning at least 3 pages. (Check out Shira J at synchronicty-studios.com for interesting life classes).
- Gratitude Journal – taking the time to list as many things as you can that you are thankful for and why.
- Daily Affirmations
Though I sometimes do feel like I am wasting time when I don’t post as often as I want on FB, Instagram, WordPress, YT etc. I realize that this too is part of my journey towards creating past the “breaking point.” I am still going but at my own pace and I trust and believe that when I get to my destination it will be where I was meant to be all along and it will also be at the right time. This is why I say to you if you need to, take the time for YOU, keeping in mind that “comparison is the thief of joy” and this is YOUR LIFE & YOUR JOURNEY. If you see something you want or feel like you are missing out on don’t forget that what is meant for you, it is for you and keep working towards that but own YOUR journey…God is in control.
If you find yourself wanting to rush into something or feel badly because you haven’t really reached your original goals, I ask you today to take an inventory of your life and notice some of the great things you may have missed along the way that you have been doing on your journey to create harmony. I think you may realize you’re exactly where you need to be love, take your time but don’t ever give up on you! xo!
Peace, Love & Many Many Blessings to YOU!