Hey guys! I have been on hiatus for a little minute. Have you ever felt like a computer with too many tabs open in your mind and it was hard to FOCUS on just one thing? Well that was me for like these last few weeks. It all started out with getting sick and needing the down time to heal. Of course that could have been the perfect time to blog in all my random glory but I truly had no energy or desire. Once I got in that comfort zone mannnnnn was it hard for me to get back up, this includes workouts and returning to my healthier foods! I was in straight up feed and stuff your cold mode and definitely in a little funk!! LOL. Once I began feeling better I realized that I had to start again from the BOTTOM….and that NEVER feels good but there is always, always, always something to be gained from it!
Which brings me to this post “Starting from the Bottom” ….yassss here I go! In order to bring this all in I have to tell you a little about myself. I started my journey into plus modeling about five years ago. During that time I became the Poetry Editor for Venus Diva Online Magazine which was a plus sized lifestyle mag with fashion and modeling tips at the time, I also became the Fan Club Administrator for inspirational Plus Size Model Olga Gonzalez-Ramos and later became the Curvy Confidence Editor for Daily Venus Diva Online Magazine with a strong focus on Empowerment & Self Esteem related issues.
It was during those years where I was learning the industry, and still learning because learning is a lifelong process, that I learned the importance of staying true to who I am and developing my audience and well as my self confidence…this wasn’t easy but well worth it. You see when you write from the heart (as many of you do) and even model there will be days when you doubt yourself. You will have days when you will probably want to quit or negative people will come and try to rain on your parade or take your “shine” that is, not give you your credit when credit is due or whatever the case may be, not even knowing all of the obstacles you have had to overcome just to get to where you are at…but that is part of the journey. I’ve learned a lot and one thing for sure is that when you develop yourself more and more and keep in mind that God is always in control, you will always be in tune with your purpose….even though sometimes it can be a very confusing and lonely road.
I have modeled for many different independent designers and companies and have always been in love with the “underdog” because that was who I was and that was my audience. Those who were struggling, those who had dreams, those who were striving and working hard and those who needed just a push whether gentle or hard, those were the people who always wanted to build. We were and still are in this thing together….BUT you have to start SOMEWHERE and that is at the BOTTOM! A friend of mines, Shira J from Synchronicity-Studios actually has a video called “Started from the Bottom” on Youtube which had me thinking about all of this, you can check it out here if you want after reading this long post ;).
There is also a pretty good video from Bronze Goddess on YouTube called “The Vultures” which I will link here as well.
I love this quote because it reminds me of the journey I have been on towards my dreams in life. All it took was a little faith that I could do any of this and I backed it up with working hard. I never knew how far it would take me or that I would be knocked down several times to that bottom step but I never fully gave up. I may have held the railing on the way up a couple of times, took breaks for myself to catch my breath and get fit for that next step and even had a few days where I wanted to turn around and run away from that staircase, but faith is ACTION! It is so active that even when you see only a few stairs before you, you have to keep believing that there are more stairs just waiting for you to climb higher and higher towards your biggest dreams and goals and that you can make it. Faith is a journey you take all on your own. There will be those to help you, empower and uplift you but ultimately you have to believe for yourself, walk for yourself, run for yourself and even take breaks and stumble for yourself. Faith and “Starting at the Bottom” helps to season you with hope and goodness and allows for greater vision and purpose as well as enables you to discern things better and get soooooooooooooooooooo focused on that one step that the next thing you know you’ll be right at the top of your original staircase fully equipped to handle the next flight. Are you excited about what starting at the bottom looks and feels like? I wasn’t either. It takes a lot of sacrifice and hard work, trust me I know. I wasn’t ever as excited as I am now, knowing this that I am thankful for ALL of the lessons and blessings along the way and now more than ever I know that I am worthy to succeed and make it! I’ve had people tell me that I should be further along in my journey and some who believe I should just all out quit but this too is part of it all. Although I feel like I am “starting from the bottom” really I am not in faith and that will catapult me to the top. There is no stopping me for my faith says keep going, there are greater things in store and I believe it!
I want to know a little about you, tell me, have you ever felt like you are starting from the bottom and what has helped you along the way? Until next time, stay encouraged and keep on keeping on, you got this! I may not be where I want to be yet but I will get there and so will you!
Below are just a few pics of some accomplishments on my journey that I am proud of, sometimes looking back & seeing how God worked something out for you really helps to keep you climbing those stairs towards all of your dreams! Thanks to everyone who has ever believed in me and supported me along the way I needed that <3!